Perfectionist...

Okay, I need to put a warning label on this post -.- because how I feel right now and what I am about to say is going to sound extremely cocky and stuck up, I am sorry. I am not the type of person to go around bragging etc, but this is my blog and I don't want to have to keep secrets from my own online journal! :D

*. I'm a perfectionist and this is starting to drive me insane. I got a 38 out of 40 on my Anthropology test and a 39 out of 40 on my Geography. So why then, do I feel so shitty? I feel dumb for missing those points and I cant help thinking I COULD HAVE GOTTEN 100% and I BLEW IT!

**. Good news is though...I feel pretty good about my writing. We had to write short stories for my English class and so far mine has a 96% with a couple *Really nice writing* comments and a couple circled metaphors that my teacher liked. Usually, I wouldn't feel proud,because there is always something wrong with my work to me, but my teacher wrote a book that got a couple good awards and I believe that he knows the literary world pretty well. Now, obviously, hes a teacher, so maybe he was just writing all that on my paper to be encouraging etc and he didn't really think to himself while reading my story *Hey this girl has got something here..* one can dream right>insert question mark here < Damn I need a new keyboard....

***. Since Ive started to get a good rhythm together, balancing 5 classes, 40 hours a week of work and exercising 5 days a week...Ive decided to start throwing in writing sessions back into my schedule. The past month my writing has gotten away from me, but with having to write papers for school etc I am starting to really get that itch to create some verbiage!

****. EXERCISE and EAT LESS... my main goals right now. Ive noticed, that when I work towards this goal I am able to get more things done in my life and I feel happier about everything. I also get a little bit of confidence, which I think I need. SO Ive started exercising a lot (or trying to sometimes I get off schedule with school events etc) I decided though, since my schedule fluctuates so much to not stick to a certain time or day, but rather set an *exercise at least 5 days a week motto* I walk twice a week with my mom, so that's 2 days right there. The other three I will be spending running and doing ab workouts. Anyhow, the problem with all of this is how critical I get of myself. I start going to the extreme and telling myself skipping lunches, dinners etc would be best and help me lose weight fast etc. But come on, if we*re being realistic starving yourself is great for fast results, but it wont last. PLUS I have found out that I am not exactly capable of fully starving myself. So no worries there, food is just too much of a friend these days.

Tis all for now! I have a lot of ranting to get out of my system, but hopefully soon my posts will become more entertaining, no promises!